Hiatus

As you may (or may not) have noticed, I've taken a little blogging hiatus lately.

I'm not going to stop blogging, so don't celebrate just yet. ;) I've had a few big things going on lately, not the least of which was that I had the honor of being a maid of honor. It's not every day you get to stand next to a best friend and beautiful bride as she takes her vows. The wedding was beautiful, and I think I have almost completely recovered! I wonder when the bride will be able to say the same thing... She has been working non stop for the last 6 months or so.

The other thing that's been going on lately is something that I hinted at before. It's more of a little "soul search" journey that I've been on. I'm not quite ready to share all the gory details just yet... But I have learned a few things:

1. I'm not always as "right" as I think I am. In fact, FAR more often I am very wrong.

2. Relationships take lots of work. And two people. Yeah I know we've all heard this... But think about it for a second. Relationships take two people working hard to either make them strong or make them crumble. Every time you do something, it is work. So, every time I do something lately I ask myself, "am I working to build my relationship up or tear it down?"

3. I need more Jesus in my life. Holy cow. I need more of His love and His patience and His peace... Because I need extra helpings of all of that in my life right now.

4. I am struggling much more than I like to admit... To myself or anyone else.

Fake it till ya make it.

I caught myself praying last night.

No, no, that isn't a bad thing... I just really haven't in quite a while.
Well, I haven't really prayed. You know, the honest, heartfelt kind that just flows out of your mouth before you even know what you are doing.

Baby had a really rough night last night and as I held her and rocked her I just found myself pleading with God to help me and help her. I didn't have to force it or fake it or preface it with "You probably aren't listening, but..." And as I realized what I was doing, it felt good. And it felt okay. Not contrived, not full of bitterness or resentment.

It's been a while since I've prayed like that. The last few years have held some pretty significant ups and downs for me, and I had just gotten to the point where I was too emotionally raw... I didn't want to put forth the effort it was taking for me to keep up with Jesus. And I was still so very mad at Him. So I just stopped. And then I let bitterness creep back in...

But somewhere along the way I realized that I want to be a good wife, and a good mom, and a good friend. I want to be a good doctor, and a good business woman, and a good person. I don't want to be bitter and angry and full of negativity. But I wasn't quite sure how to get there. And anger isn't like a faucet... you can't just turn it off. It's more like a rushing river. You have to feel it and let it be what it is and learn to navigate it before there can be any hope of calm.

So I did. I let myself be angry.



Once that river calmed a bit I found myself floating and drifting somewhat aimlessly. I felt like I needed a shift in gears, a new perspective, and maybe even a new way of doing things. I was starting to cross that river but not sure what the other side might look like.

In the spirit of keeping myself motivated, I changed a few things around on my phone (yes I said phone, that little electronic part of my hand with its own touch screen). My life has changed so much the last few years and I knew what had worked for me in the past probably won't anymore. No longer can I simply set my Bible by the coffee pot and read in the mornings with breakfast. There's more mouths to feed and sticky little fingers that captivate my attention (and my heart) and fill up my mornings.

So; I hid my facebook app so it isn't always the first thing I click on. I got an app for the Bible, and one for daily prayers that I am falling in love with. I started doing a daily devotional with little "challenges" that I will have to write more about later. It felt pretty fake when I first started, but I know that the longer I do these things and the more routine they become, the easier and more heartfelt they will become. I hate the term "fake it till you make it", but it turns out that neurology and common sense argue for it's validity. If you do something consistently and for a period of time, even if it's hard and awkward and clumsy at first, it soon becomes routine and easy as your brain becomes 'reprogrammed'.

I realized last night that I'm starting to cross over from the sheer "fake it" to the triumphant "make it". And it felt really good.









The "Bible app" icon that I was talking about. Cute, isn't it?
Now, go find it for your own iPhone!

Baby Time!

I'm not sure if its something in the water... Or if its just my friends/family right now...
But doesn't it seem like EVERYONE is pregnant? ...And with pregnancy of course comes baby showers! I don't know about you, but I know that pre-mommyhood I never had a stinking clue what to get people for baby showers.

BUT, who doesn't LOVE shopping for baby gifts??

My mom was recently talking to me about what makes a good baby gift these days. This got me to thinking, "Hey, why not put together a list of my favorite things and the stuff that new moms really NEED."So I did.

Here's my top picks:
1. At the risk of sounding like a health nut: get her a gift of liquid vitamin D, omega 3 fatty acids, and powdered probiotics. Do a little research (or ask me for recommendations) and get a decent brand. Even good brands will only run you about $50-60 for 6 months worth of all three supplements. There are just so many health benefits and so many diseases that can be prevented by these simple, inexpensive supplements. Better yet, give these as gifts along with some educational materials to encourage her to keep giving the supplements to her little one!
2. Diapers. SCHLOADS of diapers. And then more diapers. And Desitin--that stuff is a must have. Tip: the newborn size diapers are amazing because they have a little belly button cutout and they are actually small enough for the first month or so. I soo wish we had known about them sooner!!
3. If you must get clothes, get summer sized onesies, and winter sized footie pajamas (depending on baby's estimated birthday). You can't have too many of either of these things. Yes, yes we all love cute outfits, but lets be honest... They are gonna spend 90% of their time in jammie's. Unless she is a much trendier mom than I (which wouldn't be unlikely... But I digress).
4. Camilia teething liquid. This stuff is a life saver.

5. Bibs. Extra thick bibs if you can find them. The thin cotton ones last about 12 seconds when they are teething. The plastic bibs are also a must for when they start solids.
6. Photography gift certificates. Because who wouldn't love a chance to get baby pictures and not have to worry about the cost?? One of my favorite gifts was our newborn session with Viveria Photography. (They just happen to be my cousins. I'm incredibly blessed to know them... For so many reasons!)

7. The large items!! I know it's fun to get clothes and toys... But what new moms really need is often a stroller, changing table, car seat, and crib. Check her registry if she has one, chip in on the gift with a friend (or 5), and/or check out thrift stores. These items are so desperately needed when preparing for that first baby!
8. Books!!! Encourage reading, interactive playtime, and valuable bonding by buying a few hardcover books. We've recently been finding good books at our local thrift store for 10 cents each.
Seriously.
10 cents.
You have no excuse not to add a few to your next baby gift! ;)
9. Gifts for the big brothers/sisters (especially gifts they can share with the new baby. Get them excited about being a big sibling!) and/or gifts for mom and dad. Think bubble bath soap, a gift card for a massage, restaurant gift cards, or even a grocery store gift card! Or simply bring a home cooked meal that first week home with the new baby and offer to do a load of laundry if you can spare an hour or two. It will mean so much.
10. A baby bath tub filled with shampoo, washcloths (lots if washcloths!), a rubber ducky, towels, and other bath time accessories.

If you know the mommy will be nursing, these next items are also awesome:
1. Hooter hider or some sort of nursing cover up
2. Breast gel pads made by Medela. Best. Invention. EVER!!! Takes the pain out of nursing. A little spendy, but they can be reused and are TOTALLY worth every last penny.
3. Lanolin cream. Yeah... Nuff said.
4. Nursing tank tops and bras. Yes, rather intimate... I know... But these items are insanely expensive and incredibly necessary.

If you are crafty or a seamstress, some of my favorite homemade gifts were:
1. Bibs made from old terry cloth towels. LOVE these because they are so thick and yet comfy!!
2. Knit hats and booties for winter babies. I got 2 sets of these and they were amazing--warm, cozy and oh so cute!

That's our little peanut, ready to go home from the hospital sporting her hand-knit booties!

And please don't forget:
Get a gift receipt!!!!! ALWAYS!!!! Even if they love the item you got, they may get more of the same item. And who needs 12 copies of "Goodnight Moon"? (Well maybe.... Ok, fine... Probably not.)

Check out second hand stores (if you know the momma well and she is okay with this.) We got amazing, incredible deals on everything from a stroller to high chairs to completely unused baby clothes to nursing tank tops. Soooo worth it to check around. We've probably saved thousands already and our little dear is only 11 months old.

And my own little disclaimer:
If you are reading this and you bought me a gift that did not make the list... That does NOT mean I didn't like it or didn't think it was a good idea!!! We got so so many gifts and were so incredibly blessed... It would've taken me pages and pages to list them all. The purpose of this post was simply to give some ideas for people out there that may be curious or are looking for something a little less traditional. :) Really, I don't think I got a single gift that I haven't used and loved!

I hate "working out".

As I stood on the elliptical machine yesterday watching the second hand on the clock tick I thought to myself, "I am so glad I'm doing this". But not because I enjoy it. Actually, the thought of getting in my cold car and driving to the gym, dropping off my little peanut with people I don't know for childcare, and standing around sweating with a ton of other people is almost exactly opposite of what I enjoy. Given my druthers, I'd love to sit home on the warm comfy couch and snuggle all day.
So... why do I do it then?

Delayed gratification.
I know the benefits I will get from working out will far outweigh the momentary struggle it is for me to get there.

I hate working out and getting sweaty and raising my heart rate. But, I know that my bursts of muscle contraction and heart pumping will burn fat, boost my metabolism, and, most importantly to me: release endorphins that are more effective in stabilizing my mood than any SSRI known to man.

In my first year of graduate school, we reviewed a study that showed people who exercised moderately on a regular basis were happier, lived longer, and had measurably higher levels of immunity and lower levels of stress. Um, hello, sign me up for all of that, please. (Especially with the nasty flu bugs going around this year... I'll take all the immunity I can get!)
**On a side note, this study also found that people who exercised very vigorously on a regular basis were actually significantly LESS healthy than the group who did not exercise at all. Surprising, huh? The healthiest group, by and large, were the moderate exercisers. Everything in moderation. Even exercise.

Lastly, I exercise because every woman in my family has moderate to severe arthritis by the time they are 50. This predisposition combined with my congenitally malformed shoulders has given me the early blessing of moderate arthritis already, at age 26. I was recently told I would need a replacement shoulder by age 40-45. I know that exercise and movement are some of the best ways to combat arthritis (along with diet... But that's a topic for another day). So, in addition to my little elliptical workout I swim laps at least 3 times a week. An added bonus of this is that the more I move my shoulders, the less they hurt. It's a win win.

So, there's the "why". The "how" is the hard part. Here's what I've found helpful:

1. Make it fun. I cannot stress this emphatically enough. Good lord, if you do nothing else, make it fun.
I read while I am on the elliptical. If you know how much I love reading you'll understand that this is motivation in itself. And let's be honest, I have an 11 month old... I'm not gonna read anywhere else, unless it's "Goodnight Moon" or "Chica Chica boom boom". Find ways to make it fun, whatever that means for you. iPod loaded? TV set to your favorite drama? Running outside with your pooch? Yoga with your hubby? Whatever works.

2. Make it easy. This is another must. Because let's be honest... If it isn't easy you are not gonna do it. Keep your gym bag packed in your car. Leave your yoga mat in the living room where you will trip over it. Again, whatever it takes!!

3. Let there be rewards. Whether it is the financial incentive from your insurance company to go to the gym, a new pair of running shoes after a month of daily workouts... Find whatever motivates you. At the end of my workouts, I like to jump in the sauna or hot tub and melt away for a few minutes. It's my little heaven on earth (especially in the winter!!). I also enjoy ridiculously long, hot showers after my workouts. The water never gets cold at the YMCA, and since I already pay them I don't feel bad for using a plethora of it. (Saves our home water bill, too.) This is my favorite reward. Seriously, between the thought of this little treat and a good book I can drag myself to the gym on my laziest day.

4. Just do it. Every single day. I'm not saying spend 2 hours at the gym every day... But do something. Go for a walk, roller blade, stretch, do a home workout video, swim with your kids, play tennis with the neighbor... you get the idea. Mix it up. Right now, I do yoga and Pilates on days I don't make it to the gym. In the summer, there are a lot more walks and outdoor activities! Whatever you do, just make a point to be active every day. 20 minutes a day is a good goal, but be realistic. If 5 is all you can do, start there. It's contagious... Before you know it you'll be up to 30 minutes.

5. DON'T MAKE IT ABOUT POUNDS. This is probably my favorite. I do NOT go to the gym "to lose weight". Period. I think it's unhealthy, unrealistic, and depressing to "weigh in" or work out only to lose weight. Is it a lovely by-product? Yes, sometimes it is. Does it matter? In my opinion, no. Work out to be healthy, and to take care of the one and only body God gave you. The same should go for eating, sleeping, and almost anything else you do. Does it glorify God to see you frustrated with that twenty pounds you wanted to lose? Or, when you exercise and eat healthy to care for His precious gift: your body? In the end, the results will be the same without the mind-numbing, self-loathing, guilt-fest on the way there. Some of the sickest people I have known were the thinnest, and some of the healthiest people I know are medically "overweight". Avoid scales. Trust your body. Being healthy IS NOT a number on a scale, it's a lifestyle.

Happy new year!

Tomorrow, in the spirit of the new year and resolutions, I promise a post about exercise that you won't want to miss. Sorry I've been slacking a little on the blog posts. My brain has just been elsewhere.

Today, I bring a few more random organization ideas for you. Because today I'm feeling random.

1. Our closet is teeny tiny. And I have a lot of clothes that I prefer to be hung up. Also, I just plain have a lot of clothes... but I digress. A quick trip to Menards and about $7 later, we added a second hanging bar below the original one. (And by "we" I mean "Caleb"). :) Now I have room to hang more clothes! The shelf on the top was also done by yours truly (Caleb again) and makes a nice place to set hats.

(Yes, my clothes are organized by color and sleeve length. Don't look at me funny.)

2. Living proof that organization does not have to be expensive or fancy. Our linen closet is full of random baskets that hold different things. The baskets don't match, but they are neatly organized and the contents are labeled.

 

3. This one I've gotten a few oohs and aahhs from... but I stole it from someone, so I can't take full credit (I think it may have actually been my brother, who shares the OCD gene).  All those little discount cards and store perks cards clog up my wallet and it drives me nuts. So, I decided they needed to live outside the wallet in an easy to access ring binder of their own. Simply punch holes in the cards and find an old key ring! (Free, and easy! My kinda project.)

4. Lastly, time for a kitchen make over. Again, on a roll with the idea of "hanging things up" (see previous post). I covered an old Cheerios box in shelf paper and attached it to a lower cabinet for boxes of Saran wrap, tin foil, etc. Hindsight being 20/20, I'd use something sturdier than a Cheerios box or at least reinforce it. But, the size of it was perfect.

And then since I was on a roll, I got some of those little Command hooks and hung them inside of 3 of our upper cabinet doors. So cheap, simple and easy... and it blows my mind how much clutter it cleared out of our drawers. Amazing.

(Sorry the picture is fuzzy... I'll try to update later.)