Crazy about him

He wonders if I'm crazy about him.

The man who dared to challenge my unrealistic optimism, stubborn nature, faltering faith, and disbelief in true love.

And he wonders if I'm crazy about him.

The man who never challenges my wild ideas and crazy dreams, goals, and belief that there's a better way.

And he wonders if I'm crazy about him.

He's the one I never want to be apart from, and can never wait to get back home to. The one I wanted as a young college girl and the one I'll want while sitting in my nursing home.

And he wonders if I'm crazy about him.

He's the one who I vow not to cut my hair for, and the one who grows his beard for me. He's the only one I'll wear makeup for, and the only one I've ever believed when he tells me I'm beautiful.

And he wonders if I'm crazy about him.

He's the only one I ever want to tuck our daughter in bed,

To hold her hand,

To brush her messy pigtails,

To walk her down the aisle.

And he wonders if I'm crazy about him.

He the only one I've ever opened my whole heart to.

The one who knows my secrets, my skeletons, and the dark places in my mind. 

I can't believe he wonders if I'm crazy about him.

My husband tells me I'm dramatic...

He's right.

If you read my last post and thought that I was one step away from pulling the plug... Well... Maybe I made it appear that way. And I'm sorry. Because its not at all.

Pastor says today "God doesn't give up on us, we give up on him." Ugh. So true. I'm sure God knows and has a plan for my life, and I know he hasn't given up on me. I just feel like it. And then I feel like I need to take matters info my own hands because clearly I'M the only one who can make it happen. 

I want to be obedient... It's just that I don't really aspire to be a patient person. Never have. If I had asked for patience, this would be fun. But I didn't. And it's not. Regarding my last weeks post about what I am supposed to be doing with my life; I don't care what the answer is, I just want it 3 months ago. {Apparently God is not aware of my time frame here.}

I am blessed BEYOND measure. Every morning I get to wake up to a little voice calling "mommaaaaa"... And she is talking to me!! And every night (or most of them anyways) I get to look into the eyes of a man who has exceeded my wildest expectations of what a husband could be, and kiss him goodnight. I have two jobs I love and am so excited for the opportunity to learn a new skill these next few months!

The pastor is saying that we are doing the right thing if we are being obedient, even if we don't "feel like" being obedient. Even if we are cranky about it.

Well I'm here to say that I'm a little cranky about it. And maybe that comes across as overly dramatic. Probably. But I'm trying. And waiting. And in the meantime life is pretty darn amazing.

{Hear that, God? I'm waiting. So my lesson in patience is working. That means we can be done now, right?}