This morning at work a package of cookies and a Dr Seuss farewell card brought tears to my eyes. I haven't finished reading it yet. Maybe tomorrow night I'll open it up and read the carefully penned words of one of the sweetest women I know. I busied myself caring for the needs of the day; filing x-rays, cleaning out my desk, finding all of my tupperware left in the break room. Why do I have so much tupperware left here? I wrote "help yourself" on my leftover Keurig dark roast pods with a little picture of a heart, "from Dr J". There come those tears again. I'll miss these girls. The giggles about so-and-so's adorable accent, or thick curly hair. The rants and raves about ill-tempered, rude, or just plain stinky patients. The handyman specials--getting out the tool box while they are in scrubs, cleaning out the x-ray processor chemicals in my dress shirt, or just jumping up on top of chairs to knock two years of dust off an old cabinet. It's been a great year--full of laughter, learning, and gaining experience. There are much worse things in life.
I drove out of the parking lot tonight and just barely contained my shrieks of delight. Being able to attend animal chiropractic school has been a dream of mine since I knew such a thing existed. It's the perfect blend of veterinary science and alternative medicine--both passions of mine since pretty much forever. I remember picking grass and leaves and making "medicine" with my best friend after school in the back yard of our home on Sunnyside Terrace. We'd spend hours creating masterpieces of dirt, mud and twigs, making medicine from leaves, and chasing the tracks of a bunny until we had to make up a story of his mysterious disappearance. I'll never forget the time my mother asked me about the strange odor in my bedroom, and finally discovered the dead sparrow I'd placed in a shoebox full of cotton balls under my bed. "He shouldn't have to lay out there in the cold," I said. I never dreamed that today I'd be married with a daughter of my own; about to purchase our own home, and mid-way through a class that will forever change my views on health, motion, life, all things 4-legged, and this crazy thing called chiropractic. There are worse things in life.
I don't really have a great game plan. I have some ideas; but ideas can change. I don't know exactly where I'll be in a year, a season, or even a month. God willing, the best I can hope for is to follow His lead and pay close enough attention to listen to where that road goes. I do know that sleeping in the next room is a little girl who needs much much more time with her mommy than she's been given. And 80 miles away, sleeping on a couch, is a man who longs to spend his days beside his best friend, not just pass each other in opposite shifts. And sitting in my very own chair is a young woman who still remembers why she signed all of those student loan papers and stayed up all of those long nights cramming for tests and called her mother crying when she failed a graduate level class. Today that young woman was reminded once more that the right way isn't always the easy way, the best thing to do is often the most difficult, and that the road ahead isn't always free of boulders and foggy days. Sometimes all it takes is a hug and a "housewarming/farewell gift" from a woman who has been touched by the gift of chiropractic--the gift of my very own hands--to bring tears to my eyes and to remind me why I keep learning, keep praying, and keep searching for direction my own journey takes. Because some days saying goodbye to friends, turning over a new page, starting a new job, and entering a time of waiting is tough to swallow. But every day I thank God, because there are so many, and so much worse things in life.
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