Please, people, please people.

For most of my life I have been the kind of person that will bend over backwards and then again in half to try to make someone even the slightest little bit happy. This can be a good trait, but unfortunately it has caused me quite a bit of heartache too. I remember in third grade I had a teacher who was rather stern and unfriendly. I was not great at math, but I worked really hard to finish my worksheet extra fast and rushed to turn it in, thinking about how pleased she would be.
She took one look at it and grabbed her red pen and began furiously scribbling. As I took the paper back to my desk to work out all of the mistakes, I remember biting my lip really hard to fight back tears.

All I've ever wanted, for as long as I can remember, is to please people.

Imagine for a moment all the trouble a person could get into if they tried entirely TOO hard to please people. Or, heaven forbid, tried hard to please the wrong people.

Yup. That was me, too.
 
So, for the past three years or so I've been trying really hard to better my skills with setting boundaries, saying "no", and actually standing up for what I believe in. It's really hard, and when it's not something that comes naturally to you it's that much harder. I've realized, though, that for my own mental health, and the sake of my marriage, and if nothing else, the example I want to set for my children; I MUST learn to do this.

But I'm realizing that it's not so black and white. It is a fine line, for sure.

It's getting easier to say "No" when someone is trying to rip me off or outright hurt me.
It's hard to say when I am invited to do something I enjoy, but deep down I know that I don't have the extra time to pull away from my family.

It's easy to set boundaries for baby. She isn't allowed on the stairs without supervision. Period. That's what baby gates are for.

It's harder for me to stand up to my friends or family when something threatens to jeopardize my relationship with my husband. I love my family. But I love my husband. And sometimes we don't all agree. Hence, boundaries need to be set. And sometimes its really hard.

I'm glad I have a supportive and (usually) patient husband. He has been my source of strength when I want to just crumple up and give in. He is also the most courageous person I have ever met, with a huge heart for his family. He knows how to set priorities and boundaries like nobodies business. Sometimes he's almost too good at it... but I have learned a lot from him.

There comes a point when you just have to do what is best for yourself and your family. At the end of the day, if you don't take care of yourself you won't be able to take care of anyone else. It's hard. For sure. We've had a lot of practice this year.

Too much, actually. 

In fact, I would absolutely love to be done setting any boundaries for a long time.

Unfortunately, I don't think it works that way...